Love is expected to be secure, encouraging and consistent. However, at times passion gradually transforms into confusion, fear, and emotional discomfort. The hardest part? Most individuals are not even aware of the fact that they get into an abusive relationship until it is too late to recover.
Physical mistreatment does not necessarily cause bruises. It can conceal itself behind sweet words, apologies and promises to change. When something does not feel right with the relationship you are in, then you should listen.
These are 7 outrageous red flags you must never overlook.
1, Always in Control of Your Life.
Is your partner the one who dictates whom you communicate with, what you wear or where you go?
Control takes usually the form of care:
- “I just don’t like your friends.”
- “That outfit is too revealing.”
- Why do you have to go out without me?
It will initially seem complimentary- as though they are in love. However, with time, isolation starts. You stop seeing friends. You do not trust your decisions. You seek permission as opposed to decision making.
One of the most understandable signs of an abusive relationship is control.
2, Gaslighting That Makes You Question Reality.
Gaslighting is a form of emotional control which causes you to question your recollection, emotions or sanity.
Examples include:
- “That never happened.”
- “You’re too sensitive.”
- “You’re imagining things.”
You begin to believe that it is all your fault after being gased. You apologize constantly. You are lost and tired emotionally.
This is a mental strategy that gradually diverts authority out of your hands and continues to have you in a state of dependency.
3, Obsessive Jealousy and Possessiveness.
Healthy love includes trust. Surveillance is part of toxic love.
If your partner:
- Uses phone when she is not supposed to.
- Charges you with cheating falsely.
- Gets furious when you can spend with family.
- Wants to know where you are always.
That’s not romance. That’s control.
Jealousy, which is followed by spying on actions, is a great warning signal in an abusive relationship pattern.
4, Emotional Humiliation and Verbal Attacks.
Verbal abuse is worse than physical abuse.
If your partner:
- Calls you names
- Mocks your appearance
- Looks down upon your success.
- Jests at your cost in company.
That’s emotional abuse.
In the long term, confidence is lost. You start thinking of yourself as little, ugly or incompetent. Emotional harassment is meant to undermine your self esteem to an extent that you are not able to walk away.
5, The Circle of Explosions and Apologies.
The cycle is one of the most ambiguous components of a toxic relationship:
- Tension builds
- A dramatic statement or violent act occurs.
- They are sorry, they will reform, they will pour affection on you.
- Things feel “normal” again
Then it repeats.
This cycle leads to emotional addiction. The extremes are so acute in that there is such pain in the bottoms. Such a trend is very typical of an abusive relationship and it keeps a number of people in bondage.
6, You Feel Afraid–Even When You Don’t know why.
Physical violence is not always a cause of fear.
You may:
- Be apprehensive to raise a subject.
- Avoid saying certain things
- Walk on eggshells
- Monitor your tone carefully
Before you are always trying to make your partner not to get angry, then that is not healthy love. That’s survival mode.
Danger is usually realized by your body before it is realized by your mind.
7, It Is the Blame of Overshifting.
In good relationships, it is a mutual responsibility of the two individuals.
In a toxic dynamic:
- Everything is your fault
- You “caused” their anger
- You “made” them react
- They never admit wrongdoing
This blame is absorbed over time. You can even vindicate them to others. Such a mental state of mind perpetuates the abusive relationship since it skews responsibility.
Forms of Abuse That are commonly disregarded.
Not all abuse is physical. It can include:
- Emotional manipulation
- Financial control
- Social isolation
- Digital monitoring
- Threats or intimidation
With the broader definition, people are able to notice when something is wrong.
Why It’s So Hard to Leave
The question that many people ask is, Why not leave?
The truth is complex.
Victims may stay because:
- They hope things will change
- They fear retaliation
- They have common money or children.
- They have a destroyed self-esteem.
- They become emotionally attached.
Getting out of a battered relationship is not a sign of weakness. It is usually one of the most difficult and courageous choices that one can take.
The Emotional Impact
Exposure to emotional or psychological damage, over a long period will result in:
- Anxiety
- Depression
- Low self-worth
- PTSD symptoms
- Trust issues
Recovery takes time. Healing needs support and compassion and even professional assistance.
What You Can Do When this is Sounding Familiar.
If you recognize these signs:
- Begin to record behaviors in secret.
- Share with some one you can trust.
- Local support resources in research.
- Develop a safety strategy, where necessary.
- Think about a consultation with a therapist or a counselor.
In case you are in dire need, call local emergency services immediately.
You deserve safety. You deserve respect. You should get love that is not hurtful.
Final Thoughts
A living-in relationship will hardly begin with clear signs of abuse. It develops gradually, indirectly, and tactically. The trick is not to see accidents as an isolated case.
In case you are always tiny, nervous, dominated, or lost in a relationship, then it is not standard conflict. That’s a red flag.
Love must be the strength, not the dumbness.
And nobody has told you this to-day:
You are not overreacting.
You are not too sensitive.
And you are not alone.
